Jeritan Batin Ku

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This would be my ninth year of working away from home. When I mean away from home, I mean it would be somewhere where I cannot simply hop into a car and drive back to wherever I’d call home. It does not matter if it is a four-hour or twelve-hour car ride but I can’t, I’d need to board a plane to get home, wherever home is. Which does not necessarily means out of the country, out of Malaya too is possible yes?

Being away from home means I missed on a lot of things over those nine years. Weddings, funerals, kenduris, a few Hari Raya Puasas, many Hari Raya Kurbans and parties, both wild and tame. So far I have been able to take Lina with me and later Lina and Nazzim and later still, Lina, Nazzim and Sofia.

But not this current location. Lina would like to stay back home since she :

i. is tired of following me.
ii. wants to be close to her increasingly elderly parents.
iii. is worried about the children’s education, especially Nazzim’s.
iv. does not cherish the fact that we have to mothball, sell or give away our belongings.
v. does not cherish a few more years of shuttling between our parents’ houses while on holiday.

She swore that when she married me, it would be an easier life than her mother. Lina’s dad was an army officer. But that was not to be the case. In the first seven years of our marriage, we stayed in three countries, four locations and six houses. When I was about to leave for this assignment, one of her friends asked her if she was worried about being left behind.

“I have been left behind since the day I married him.”

Yeah, repeatedly. As sure as there is the sun and the moon. From the shortest one night to the current six weeks or two months or so.

Sofia has marked up her pound of flesh early this time.

“Pa, the next time you are home we go to KLCC ya? Adik nak iPod Nano, a new phone and………”

I stopped her before she could finish.

“Can I ask you why should I buy you an iPod Nano and a new phone, among other things? You have a perfectly good phone and we bought you that MP4 or MP3 or whatever player?”

She just shrugged and said, “I’ll tell you later.”

Tell me later what? Forty years or so living in this world and I have no smart retort to a teenager? Teenagers!

Nazzim was a bit more sensible. I was away during his birthday last week, 21 June, and he said that he’ll wait till I am home to collect.

I think my next trip home will cost me dearly. The children are wise enough to know their father does have that guilty feeling of having to work away from home and they are wise enough to milk it periodically.

Things are crazy at times. Just today I got a call that we have to commit to buying 3 tankers by end of this month or we will lose those tankers, which we will need in about 20 months’ time. Hey, I can commit anytime but whether my word is good enough is another thing. There is such a thing as an approval process. We can’t just commit seventy million greenbacks just like that. Seventy bucks, anytime…. Then me and the sports committee had to go to our supply base and project site as thay are having their final sports day and we at the capital here ought to go and participate. So, because of the good job they did over here earlier this month, the committee were rewarded with the trip. Yeah, right...... reward someone by sending them to a place they do not want to go to.

"H____, we must show our support, so you also go with the committee lah."

Of course boss, I yang jaga kedai ni kena pergi lah....

I am away from my family, I work fourteen hour days, I eat strange food or worse still, eat what I cook myself, and back home people are hitting us front, left and center. Even if the reasons are right, which they are not, it is not fair. We do not live like kings. We risk our lives flying offshore, to our sites and we miss our families. Whatever money we make, we spend it at home, on our families, on true red-blooded Malaysians. I wish I could elaborate...

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Itarian Lesign

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A few weeks ago, while on leave back home, I was in Wisma Central, looking at (the Malay word is belek-belek) mobile phones to buy one for Lina. She needed (and deserved) a new one. Both Nazzim and Sofia has been pestering her to get a new one, ooohhhh, over the last two or three years.

While I was belek-beleking one potential purchase, talking with the salesman about the phone and of course, the price, a girl, maybe sixteen or seventeen years old, came in along with what must be her father.

In true Malaysian fashion, without turning left or right and see if the salesman is busy or otherwise, she just said out loud,

"Itu earphone untuk Nokia model something-something ada ka?"

"Adaaa.....", said the salesman and peeled off from attending to me to take one out of a nearby cabinet and handed it over to her.

"Calmera ada? Calmera?", she said.

"Calmera, waaaahhh......", I thought, "now even earphones also got Italian designed one ah? This must be good, the Finns must be targetting a niche market, young girls in this case, with earphones done by an Italian design house. What will they think of next?"

Visions of Sofia pestering me to get her designer phones, designer earphones, designer satchets, designer bags, designer cases, designer everything with "Calmera" stamped on it started playing on my mind.

"Calmera, Calmera...... Calmera titak ate la.", said the salesman.

"COLOUR MERAH LAH!!!!", said the father, literally shouting.

"Ooohh..., colour merah. Colour merah titak ate....."

Oh s_it, colour merah, red corour. Yes, red corour, as in pink corour. That girl wanted to eksyen with her England slang one until "colour merah" became "calmera'!!! And the father had to stoop down low too, he had to shout at the poor salesman who knows no Itarian.... hahahahaha.

Wei, mamat oi, that poor guy only sells mobile phones, he donch know Itarian one, he he...

I thought that whole episode was very funny. Calmera, god, that was a gem...

I need a new drug. Calmera is the name.....

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Danish Day

The Old Opera House is on the left and the building in the middle is Magasine du Nord, a shopping center. That's where I went shopping!


The Little Mermaid. Thought she'd be bigger.....


This sampan is owned by the third guy who co-founded or is a partner of Microsoft. Who ah? Bill Gates is one, Steve Ballmer kah the second one but the third one escapes me entirely....


The New Opera House. It does look like RM 1.4 billion....

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I have blisters on my feet walking around Copenhagen these last two days. I have blisters on my thigh from my passport in my pocket and I realised it only when the skin broke. Ow....

Went around town, past the house that Hans Christian Andersen once stayed. Hey, I realised that over the years I have visited houses or places associated with Mark Twain, Harriet Beecher Stowe, Noah Webster and J. K. Rowling.

Went to take a look see at The Little Mermaid, the offices of Maersk, only the largest industrial concern of Denmark, plus the new Opera House, built by A. P. Moeller, owner of Maersk. It costs him only Euro 350 million, about RM 1.4 billion. And he presented it to the people of Denmark. Neat. Richly neat. Went on a tour of the canals. Kids jumped from the embankment on purpose, to splash water on us on the boat. Cute, very cute. Went to the Tivoli Gardens. I always thought that the theatres and other places back home are named after a place in India. Only later that I learned that the original name of Tivoli was coined here in Copenhagen.

Met reps of the shipowners, people who run the tankers for the shipowners, brokers and Ilya, their boss. You should hear Ilya's story. Emigrated from the former Soviet Union when he was ten. Has degrees in History, Spanish and International Relations and now runs the biggest shipping company in the inland rivers of Russia. And someone like him still yearns to do more studying - philosophy but for being so busy working now, he's put that on hold. Maybe that could be good advice for Nazzim and Sofia. The world does not gravitate around medical, engineering, law or accounting degrees. But lots of luck and hard work wouldn't hurt either.

And to top it up, I got an invitation to visit St. Petersburg, the offices of the owners of the ships. Neat, very neat.

Can't stop about thinking about how perfect it would be if Lina, Nazzim and Sofia could be here with me. That's it, we'll definitely go somewhere once both Nazzim and Sofia are through with SRP and UPSR later this year..... That would be nice. Besides, Lina said that I owe her big time for taking care of my children, my home, my car and my life back home. Payback time, with pleasure.

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Copenhagen and A New Record

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Saturday, 7 June I was up at 4 am to get ready to go to Istanbul to catch the connecting flight to Copenhagen. Though I went to bed at 1 am a few hours earlier, it was a cinch to wake up. Picked up the last few items that I have yet to put in my bag and off to the airport.

The flight was full and at the airport were two Antonov 124's and a C-17 I supposed, the new USAF transport plane. I think I got the name of the plane right. The 4 hour flight to Istanbul was just fine. Breakfast on board was great. Being Turkish Airlines, everything was halal and the omelette, the pastries, the beef ham was just dandy and the cheese selection was just superb. Burp!! And being used to planes with no entertainmant, the flight had inflight movies and the 4 hours went just like that. Then it was a 4 hour wait at Istanbul and when you travel with interesting people, time flies. My colleague, Naira, who is travelling with me speaks five languages fluently - English, Russian, Armenian, Turkmen and Turkish.

"And a spattering of German, Mr. H...."

From Istanbul to Copenhagen it was also on Turkish Airlines and again, the food was good. There goes my diet. And the inflight entertainment too. But it was only a 3 hour flight so it was over in a blink of an eye. Plus the fact that I slept most of the way. Except when they were serving the food. Yum yum.....

At Copenhagen, Victoria was waiting for us. After a brief trip around the city, we went to the hotel to freshen up and then to dinner by one of the canals. That was when Natalya, Dmitri and Anatoly joined us. The four of them represents the company from whom we are chartering two tankers. For the next two years. Wth an option of another twenty maybe. Maybe that explains why they are happy to see us. Naira has been communicating with them for the last two years or so but they have never met. I guess that makes all of them happy. I'm happy too, I've never been to Copenhagen. Now, to make my boss happy, all I have to do is negotiate a few bucks off the daily rate. That'll make him happy. And his boss will be happy too. When my boss' boss is happy, I'll be delirious..... Visions of a promotion play in my mind. Ah, wishful thinking. As for dinner, I tucked in everything except the pheasant. Plus the chocolate cake and the cappucino. Burp again. But the weather turned cold and there I was in a T-shirt. I resisted the blanket until it was really really ubearable and to hell with being macho and I joined Victoria, Natalya and Naira under a blanket each. Yes, they have blankets in restaurants in Copengahen. Green blankets in today's case..

As for tomorrow, it'll be breakfast, a tour around the city, lunch, another tour along the canals and maybe shopping after that. I have got a heavy agenda on the shopping. Nazzim's birthday is on 21 June and maybe something good from Copenhagen would make him happy. And of course not forgetting Sofia and Lina too.

"Not fair!", that was what Sofia said last week when she heard that I was going to Copenhagen.

"Adik, Papa pergi sebab kerja, You know I'd love to take you, Mama and Along if I could. Maybe I'll take you somewhere later this year when your exams are over OK? We'll see...."

Both she and Nazzim started laughing. For them, "We'll see...." is like a sure thing. Too late I realised what I had just said. Oh well......

For the record, the room I am staying in now must be the smallest I have ever stayed in my whole life. But it's clean, there's a TV, the bathroom is fine, the internet connection I am using now is fast and free and the chances are, I'll only be spending time in it to sleep.

Yawnnnnn....... Good night.

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Another Day and Another Day in Bangkok

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The last ten days must have been the fastest ten days ever in the history of mankind. By taking seven days worth of leave and taking into consideration travelling time, I had eight full days of being home. Had. At the end of last Sunday, I casually mentioned it to Lina that I have spent the first of my eight days and I've got seven more to go.

"Hush, don't even mention it. It'll only go faster", she said.

It did, no matter what we did. It was a whirlwind of sending Sofia to school daily for the extra classes that her school is having. Trying to run other errands. Straighten things around the house. Do things we identified to be done months ago. Celebrated Sofia's birthday. She's twelve this year. And a handful for Lina. They spar everyday. But there can only be one winner. But in many instances, the are doing OK. Lina wants to have a good relationship with Sofia. I can't have that with Sofia - not when she's got me wrapped around her fingers. Well at times. OK, maybe a little bit more than that but that's it.

God, the day room at Suvarnabhumi is ridiculous!!! USD 165 for eight hours!!! It was that or Novotel, which entailed the trek through immigrations, get my bags etc. Had there been another person with me, I'd go for it. But then, it was enough for a good sleep while waiting for my flight this morning. As usual, without fail, the flight here have its share of important people - people who can't wait to leave the plane, whose phones started beeping the second the plane touched down and those who thinks Bangkok will run away if they are not the first to disembark. Ha ha, that reminds me of an anecdote my sister-in-law told me when she was a cabin crew,

"I'm a doctor, can I have a Coca-Cola?"

You figure it out. If you can figure out where the thirsty doctor is from, I'll give you a souvenir from Bangkok. Something small. Something from Bangkoklah...

It has been 4 years since I started blogging. Here's to you Red.

Oh, on 9 and 10 June, I'll be in Copenhagen for a series of meetings with the owners of the tankers that we are using now. Maybe we'll get to cut down a few bucks of their daily rates so that we could pay for that trip. It should be a cinch. I have never been there. It should be good.

Right, there is a bunch of people around me having breakfast, I presume. At least half of the population of the Indian sub-continent is at this airport this morning - and they are all around me. I feel like having some kari kepala ikan lah. We know that is not possible anywhere except home.

Got to go now. Got me some drugs the good doctor gave me for my blood pressure, hahahaha... No, just when I need it. A few more years, just a few more years...

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