Friday, August 28, 2009

Long Long Distance Love Affair


I was at work (or trying hard to work, heh heh) yesterday when the phone rang.


“Ash sheshemash ton shmesh blesch fever dmesh clierrrrrrr quarterrrrrrr like meanerrrrrrrr like………”
(say it with an American/British/Australian/or all three accents, complete with the sengau voice)

“Wouw wouw wouw wouw wouw miss, miss, miss, miss, miss, hang on, hang on a second, what on earth are you trying to say, slow down, slow down, I can’t understand a single word you’re saying…!!”

“Oh……., I am calling from Singapore. I would like to talk to Miss Zaiton’s secretary on the discussion that we had yesterday and the plan for……………”

“Miss, miss, miss, miss, miss, I think you got a very wrong number, I am not Miss Zaiton and I am not a secretary and I am sorry but there is no Miss Zaiton over here, OK miss? You got that? OK, thank you very much, bye.”

Aiyo, the gall of some people. I would have been very civilised had she started with “Hello, can I speak with Miss Zaiton/Miss Zaiton’s secretary please?” I would have gone, “I am sorry but I think you have the wrong (not very wrong, just wrong) number. But I do declare, you have a lovely voice, may I know your name and can I have your phone number please?” We could have lived happily ever after, you know? But nooooooo….., she went straight to speaking like a redneck who hasn’t seen her brother in a while. Shoot, I have had people calling asking to speak to the charge d’affairs of the Japanese embassy but I politely (and clearly, that’s important – I am sorry but you got the wrong number….. this is not the Japanese embassy…..)

Why can’t people talk simple simple one meh? Kalau you cakap orang putih like orang longkang, then cakap orang putih macam orang longkang lor. Kalau cakap macam orang kampong, then macam orang kampong lor. Kalau cakap macam orang estet, the macam orang estet meh.

Some want to action action. Eksyen eksyen. Aiyo, accident nanti…

I need a new drug….


Monday, August 24, 2009



Ramadhan means different things to different people.

One of Sofia's friends loves Ramadhan because that is when she usually dreams about her mother. Her mother passed away when she was a little girl. And it seemed that every Ramadhan, she would dream about her mother.

Don't ask me about the details of the story above - it's lovely the way it is and I'd like to leave it that way.

As for us, the reality of Pasar Ramadhan hits home again. On the first day of fasting we bought murtabak singapore tawar tak cukup daging dalam dia and yesterday we bought murtabak mentah tak masak betul and air soya bean tawar.

Today, I will masak my kuih udang sendiri punya. Cukup rasa, bahan and rencah. Cayalah...

Selamat Menyambut Ramadhan.