An Old Feel Good Tale

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I have heard this tale so many times in my life. Here is how it goes....

My mother went to a neighbour's house and she noticed that there was a bountiful harvest of fruits on the pangkin.

"Cik Ani, mana dapat buah banyak-banyak ni?"

"Alah, Cik Bada, si Meli bawak balik tadi, dia ambik kat atas bukit tu. Dia kata dia pegi dengan Usop. Usop tak ada bawak balik sikit?"

"Tak ada pun..."

"Eh, banyak buah atas bukit tu, saya ingat mesti si Usop ada bawak balik sikit kat Cik Bada?"

"Tak ada...."

When she returned home, she asked my brother, who was maybe twelve or thirteen years old then. For I must be two or three years old, for I don't remember a thing about it.

"Usop, Mak nampak banyak buah kat rumah Cik Ani tadi. Dia kata Meli dengan engkau pegi ambik? Apa tak bawa balik rumah sikit?"

"Alaaaaa Mak, buah curi biar saya sorang aje makan, Mak dengan adik2 saya tak payahlah makan....."

Heh heh heh, come to think of it, it is so true. Pandai jugak my brother tu, benda tak baik dia tak bawak balik rumah sumbat kat adik-adik.

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Me, An All Black

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Earlier this year when the All Blacks was playing one of the home teams in their tour of the U.K., Lina said, “Pa, you look like that player over there, there……, that one.”

“Which one?”, I asked.

“There, the one wearing the number 7 jersey…”

The All Blacks in the number 7 jersey? That’s……. Richie McCaw!!

I look like Richie McCaw? Me? Look like Richie McCaw? Richie McCaw? Yeah, Richie McCaw, only the captain and only one of the best All Blacks players currently.

Be still my foolish heart.

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Daytime Enemies and Nighttime Enemies

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Quite different from daytime friends and nighttime lovers, ain't it?

Have you ever let someone's existence bother you? I usually don't but sometimes when my path and judas' path crosses, I'd like very much to kick him off the topmost floor of the tallest building in the world. As something similar to what Kelly Clarkson might say, because of you, I hold strongly to the saying that revenge is a dish best tasted cold. Hmmmm, not that catchy lah...

In the recent tournament where I played Tiger Woods (read, I won) I was supposed to be in the same flight as mrs. judas. I fear for her safety, for I have, fourteen clubs, read my lips, fourteen clubs, the maximum as allowed by the USGA and The Royal and Ancient St. Andrews Golf Club, within easy reach that I might use to bash her head.

"Azman (the organiser) , please put me in another flight, a different flight from mrs. bunga tahi ayam..."

He laughed and before he could say anything else, I continued, "I'll tell you why if you have a few hours, long story, no abridged or Reader's Digest version available...." Good thing he didn't have 3 hours. And the rest is history.

I have good reasons to dislike him. Dia punya mulut sikit punya bisa. He's got a mouth that is lethal. For starters, I was working in his home state and in front of me, he mused with another local guy on why are people from somewhere else are going there to work? Don't they have work in their own states? They come to our state to steal our resources. There are more, maybe I'll tell, maybe I won't. Maybe I should, then I might get some opinion on what I should do. Maybe I should, there's one funny story that involved him and his sidekick. Now, that's a funny story. I smile whenever I think of that story.

I have kept that for 16 years and when I have my dish, it will be frozen solid. The way someone puts it, "Imagine that they have amputated your arms, amputated your legs and gouged out your eyes, with only your hearing left. Then they say that next, they will go for the dearest things in your life. You are so helpless that you can never ever do anything about it, not today, not tomorrow, not ever."

Weeeii, macam Twilight Zone weeeiii......!!! Even I'm scared.

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