Tuesday, May 03, 2005

Labour Day Weekend Tale

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Over the Labour Day weekend, we went to Kedah for a cousin’s, let’s call her S, wedding. She was brought up by my Auntie Z, who is the sister of her real father, my Uncle A. To complete the story, both of them are my mother’s siblings, with my mother being the eldest.

Now, Auntie Z has only two children of her own. When S was born and she was the ninth or tenth or something like that in her family and when his sister asked my Uncle A for the baby, he agreed, knowing that she’d grow up in a home with as much love but financially better. Besides, they get to see her all the time at kenduris and other family functions. Auntie Z and her family looked after her as best as they could until she graduated from college. I think by the time she was a teenager, she knew who is her real mother and father but there never was any issue about that.

When S wanted to get married, her real mother made issues out of why wasn’t she consulted on who is she marrying. And all her children, especially her 6 or so sons went up in arms saying that only they could be the “wali” for her wedding. But then recently when the matter of Uncle A’s land (he passed away a few years ago) came to be distributed, they said that S is not entitled to any portion of the land. Yeah, sure, when it suits them, they’d profess she is part of them and when it does not, she’s not part of them. For twenty-seven years, they had no part in her upbringing and suddenly they want to have veto power over her life. In a cat’s eye, said Auntie Z’s daughter.

After some mad family skirmishes, one moment deciding to come and another moment deciding to boycott the wedding, only her eldest brother showed up for the akad nikah, to be her “wali”. But my mangkuk of a cousin, that is the only word I could use to describe him, did not stay to eat or drink, he just got the ceremony finished with and off he went, claiming that he was fasting.

So last Saturday, about fifteen cars went to Sungai Petani to pergi “menyalang”. We went ramai-ramai to make sure that she won’t feel alone or lonely and there are people who think the world of her. Later we heard S herself finally proclaimed that she has only one brother and one sister, i.e. her adoptive siblings. After what her real mother and real siblings did to what was supposed to be the happiest day of her life, she has had enough of them.

My thinking was that, it was so easy to make the wedding really the happiest day of her life but her own brothers and sisters went out to make sure it would not be so.

Like we use to say, orang macam ini pun ada ka?

P.S. I love Alor Setar. Maybe I’ll tell why some time……

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