Le Duktur
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Last Wednesday, I took a relative to see someone in Sentul. Now, this someone is really special. It was said that he is a doctor. It was said that he is also a Datuk, as in the title and not as in the grandfather. Now this relative of mine heard that this someone, let’s call him the Man, is really good at curing all illnesses under the sun, the moon and the stars. The source of this information is a taxi driver, who somehow, manages to convince this relative of mine, who is living in Brunei, that the Man could help her. All the way to Sentul we were bombarded with the virtues of the Man.
The taxi driver said that he once fell off six (read my lips, 6) steps (anak tangga), landed on his face and was injured (I saw him pointing to a scar on his face) but he went to see the Man and the next day he was able to go to Friday prayers. Strong medicine. The only thing we can deduce from that is that it happened on a Thursday. Later it was five steps and not six.
When we reached his house, there were two other guys singing praises of the Man. Aiyo, this man could do things that only the angel Jibrail could do, cutting people here and there without any anesthetic or bleeding. He doesn’t look like a doctor but I guess there are some scruffy doctors in Pagoda T-shirts. Our friend Kamil is a scruffy looking doctor, so OK, I got no problems with that. But then he does not sound like one either. He does not sound like someone who has been through medical school. He sounds like my neighbour’s husband back in the old Kampung Bukit Kuda and the husband was a Javanese lorry driver. And oh, Kamil does not sound like a Javanese lorry driver.
And the two praise-singing clowns lit up like the sun when they heard that my relative is from Brunei. Down boys, whoa!!! Down boys!! Not everyone from Brunei is related to the Sultan of Brunei or has a house next to the Sultan of Brunei or on a first name basis with the Sultan of Brunei or can dip into the coffers of the Sultan of Brunei whenever he or she feels like it. And no, the Sultan of Brunei DO NOT simply give money to his subjects as the story goes.
The information about this guy is priceless. Examples are :
He was a medical doctor and after treating the former Raja Permaisuri Agung for breast cancer, the Sultan of Selangor asked him to stop work and leave the medical profession.
Why, the Sultan asked him to do that, I don’t know. I guess slotting the names of royalty anywhere in the conversation would lend the story more credibility. Ladies, forget about losing parts of your body, the Man is here.
Not enough being a medical doctor, he also has PhD in some field or another.
This piece of information started to ring bells in my head. Very few medical doctors are PhD holders and what are the chances that they are operating out of a single-storey terrace house in Sentul and sounds like Javanese lorry drivers?
He is so good that the doctors at IJN buys medicine from him.
I can imagine the doctors from IJN calling him :
“Doktor, Doktor, we need some of those green pills that you have.”
“Yes, those green ones. Yang Ijo tu. And some of those brown ones too. Yang beraun tu chugak.”
“Yes, yes, ten dozens of each. Sepuluh thozen ache.”
“The yellow ones? Oh, OK. If you say so, Doktor, I’ll take ten dozens of them too.”
“Thank you, Doktor, we’ll send the van over to pick them up.”
If IJN buys their medicine from Sentul, I’m not going to IJN.
Things that he says simply puts me off. One man who was there when we arrived, while taking what looks like a bottle of mineral water from the Man, asked what should he do if the doctor treating his mother objects to her drinking the water. His answer, splash it on the doctor’s face. Then he told of a tale where a doctor and him were treating different patients and while his patient recovered and the doctor’s patient died. Duuuh, so did my younger brother’s cat after he treated the poor thing. My cat, on the other hand, lived to a very old age. I’m a very good animal doctor. My brother, on the other hand, is not. He only pandai urut-urut orang.
And to top it up, he charged RM 200 for a bottle of what looks like Gatorade and four small vials of the same thing too. Plus instructions on what to do with all the aqua, which I shall not divulge in here.
So, we went back and I told that relative of mine that I have no faith in the Man and her sister agreed with me. The sister said that there is a better place, run by this one man, I am sure many of us have heard of him, and he does not put a price tag on his services, just sumbangan ikhlas, and RM 200 would go a long way in this other guy’s place.
So, she junked the Gatorade but I don’t know if she went to the other place for I think I have had enough of doctors, real or otherwise.
.
Last Wednesday, I took a relative to see someone in Sentul. Now, this someone is really special. It was said that he is a doctor. It was said that he is also a Datuk, as in the title and not as in the grandfather. Now this relative of mine heard that this someone, let’s call him the Man, is really good at curing all illnesses under the sun, the moon and the stars. The source of this information is a taxi driver, who somehow, manages to convince this relative of mine, who is living in Brunei, that the Man could help her. All the way to Sentul we were bombarded with the virtues of the Man.
The taxi driver said that he once fell off six (read my lips, 6) steps (anak tangga), landed on his face and was injured (I saw him pointing to a scar on his face) but he went to see the Man and the next day he was able to go to Friday prayers. Strong medicine. The only thing we can deduce from that is that it happened on a Thursday. Later it was five steps and not six.
When we reached his house, there were two other guys singing praises of the Man. Aiyo, this man could do things that only the angel Jibrail could do, cutting people here and there without any anesthetic or bleeding. He doesn’t look like a doctor but I guess there are some scruffy doctors in Pagoda T-shirts. Our friend Kamil is a scruffy looking doctor, so OK, I got no problems with that. But then he does not sound like one either. He does not sound like someone who has been through medical school. He sounds like my neighbour’s husband back in the old Kampung Bukit Kuda and the husband was a Javanese lorry driver. And oh, Kamil does not sound like a Javanese lorry driver.
And the two praise-singing clowns lit up like the sun when they heard that my relative is from Brunei. Down boys, whoa!!! Down boys!! Not everyone from Brunei is related to the Sultan of Brunei or has a house next to the Sultan of Brunei or on a first name basis with the Sultan of Brunei or can dip into the coffers of the Sultan of Brunei whenever he or she feels like it. And no, the Sultan of Brunei DO NOT simply give money to his subjects as the story goes.
The information about this guy is priceless. Examples are :
He was a medical doctor and after treating the former Raja Permaisuri Agung for breast cancer, the Sultan of Selangor asked him to stop work and leave the medical profession.
Why, the Sultan asked him to do that, I don’t know. I guess slotting the names of royalty anywhere in the conversation would lend the story more credibility. Ladies, forget about losing parts of your body, the Man is here.
Not enough being a medical doctor, he also has PhD in some field or another.
This piece of information started to ring bells in my head. Very few medical doctors are PhD holders and what are the chances that they are operating out of a single-storey terrace house in Sentul and sounds like Javanese lorry drivers?
He is so good that the doctors at IJN buys medicine from him.
I can imagine the doctors from IJN calling him :
“Doktor, Doktor, we need some of those green pills that you have.”
“Yes, those green ones. Yang Ijo tu. And some of those brown ones too. Yang beraun tu chugak.”
“Yes, yes, ten dozens of each. Sepuluh thozen ache.”
“The yellow ones? Oh, OK. If you say so, Doktor, I’ll take ten dozens of them too.”
“Thank you, Doktor, we’ll send the van over to pick them up.”
If IJN buys their medicine from Sentul, I’m not going to IJN.
Things that he says simply puts me off. One man who was there when we arrived, while taking what looks like a bottle of mineral water from the Man, asked what should he do if the doctor treating his mother objects to her drinking the water. His answer, splash it on the doctor’s face. Then he told of a tale where a doctor and him were treating different patients and while his patient recovered and the doctor’s patient died. Duuuh, so did my younger brother’s cat after he treated the poor thing. My cat, on the other hand, lived to a very old age. I’m a very good animal doctor. My brother, on the other hand, is not. He only pandai urut-urut orang.
And to top it up, he charged RM 200 for a bottle of what looks like Gatorade and four small vials of the same thing too. Plus instructions on what to do with all the aqua, which I shall not divulge in here.
So, we went back and I told that relative of mine that I have no faith in the Man and her sister agreed with me. The sister said that there is a better place, run by this one man, I am sure many of us have heard of him, and he does not put a price tag on his services, just sumbangan ikhlas, and RM 200 would go a long way in this other guy’s place.
So, she junked the Gatorade but I don’t know if she went to the other place for I think I have had enough of doctors, real or otherwise.
.
posted by dudae_simboyo at 19:00
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